Maybe you've seen a man wearing a koteka. It's a long cylindrical gourd tied with a string around the waist. Generally the only clothing worn by men, it is positioned directly above the male sexual organ which, apparently, is inserted directly into the end of the koteka.

The length of the koteka varies widely, but I've seen pictures where they are several feet long extending upward to the shoulder. One of the tribes wears kotekas more or less straight out from their bodies. The other tribe wears it in, well, erect position.

The other day an odd thought occurred to me. Suppose I am sitting at home flipping through television stations. I happen upon the Travel Channel, which as chance would have it, is

broadcasting a story similar to the one I just mentioned. Among other things, men pose for photographs fully decked out in their kotekas.

I wonder what would run through my mind at the time. Most likely, things like this: "How can they live with those sticks pointing straight in their air from their private parts? That's got to be really unsafe, or uncomfortable, or ... something!"

To say the least, I don't find it erotic or impressive. In fact, when I see it I'm a little saddened by their primitive culture and the pathetic attempt at machismo, at least as it appears to me.

Next I imagine myself surfing to another station where I find a story about plastic surgery. A young woman who recently had breast implants is interviewed. Among other things, before and after pictures are shown of the woman as she stands before the camera.

There is some discreet shading but for the most part I am staring at two pairs of uncovered breasts. One of them is in its natural state; the other has been surgically enlarged.

What do you think I'm thinking as I observe that scene? Which pair of breasts attracts my fancy? And what does that indicate about our culture?
I'll tell you what it says about us: it says we are out of our ahem out of our gourd.