$weet $ixteen

Have you thought about how you might like to celebrate your next birthday? Perhaps a party to top all parties (which could be aired on MTV) might be the ticket.

Oh, did I mention that the latest trend among the rich and beautiful is to spring for the biggest bash good (or bad) taste allows? If you have $100,000 or so to toss around and a son or daughter who is turning 16, a super party might be in your future. “Sweet sixteen” never sounded so ghoulish, but it’s a new form of “reality television” that has turned evil–birthday parties that can cost a few hundred thousand bucks!

How does your birthday party compare? Cake and candles? Too mundane. New watch? Forget about it. No, the bar has been raised, Dear Readers, and it is ridiculously high. It seems like the kids are having all the fun. Parents with money have decided it’s time to hire the party planner, public relations firm, talent agent, designer and assistant to give their kids the “opportunity” of having a “memorable” party to celebrate 16 years (of being spoiled rotten) and possibly be “launched” into show‑biz (or crazed decadence).

The “big party” can then be broadcast on MTV, as if this is achieving some form of greatness, like finding the cure for cancer. A couple in New Jersey admitted that their daughter’s party was “over‑the‑top,” but justified spending close to $250,000 for the “bash of lifetime” for a thousand guests. The cost of this lucky girl’s gown? Around 20,000 big ones! The “happiness” that this spectacular party created? Hmm, evidently priceless.         

The Arizona Republic ran a huge article about a Scottsdale teenager who had a $150,000 16th birthday party that was made into a half‑hour “special” on MTV. Not only was this party the talk of the town, but she received two vehicles for her birthday–a convertible for weekends and a SUV for weekdays. This young lady gushed that “Whatever I want, I get. I just have to say please.”  Then this child gleefully added, “The best part was to see how jealous my friends were.” 

Hey, I better not say anything derogatory about this “princess” or her parents. People who have $150,000 to lavish on a teenager can usually afford an attorney to sue someone for poking fun at their choices. But what the heck is happening here? When the wealthy have delusions (oops, I meant good intentions) that an obscenely expensive party will enhance their child’s life, then it’s a sorry state of affairs. Why not take a page out of Bill and Melissa Gates book and put your mega‑bucks to work helping others–and give the kids a wristwatch when they turn 16. 

Sadly, middle‑class families without the means to pull off one of these fiascos (sorry, I mean parties) are entering the fray. A couple in Des Moines, Iowa, took a second on their house so they could give their daughter a $40,000 memory for her “special day.” Being on MTV is the bait that gets a whole lot of folks going to the bank, somehow believing that stardom, with all of its elusive power and money, will soon follow.

I told my husband, Doug, about these kids getting all the loot and glory for their birthdays and wondered if I might have a “big bash” of my own this year. He totally agreed. And when I turn 16 again, he promised to give me the “surprise party” of a lifetime. He said he’d even get Elvis to come back to sing me “Happy Birthday.” Yes, and when that happens, you are all invited.