Supermarket sins from the other side

I received more e‑mail on my ‘Supermarket Etiquette’ column than any other I’ve written–and not just from supermarket employees thanking me for my stance. Plenty of folks are apparently appalled by the behavior of their fellow shoppers. But an equal number of shoppers cited multiple examples of breaches in common courtesy.

One supermarket employee was miffed by customer behavior and wrote:

“Congratulations on having the guts to speak about this ever‑growing problem. I work at store where I am made to feel bad because I want to help these customers who are on the phone. They make it seem as if I am bothering them. The laziness on bringing the cart to a convenient location is nutty, also. If you can’t make the trip to safely return the cart then ask for help in bringing out your groceries.”

One shopper wrote to say that I neglected to mention the menaces who leave their carts blocking the aisles and then wander off so that other shoppers cannot pass.

But another correspondent really touched a nerve with me when she mentioned the improprieties of some of the employees where she shops. She presented herself in an e‑mail as a polite shopper, never guilty of the supermarket sins mentioned in my column. In spite of her impeccable etiquette, she says all too often, she is treated like a nonperson while marketing.

If a shopper has a code of ethics to live by, then so, too, do store employees. A list of supermarket sins from the other side follows:

If you are a manager or fellow employee, do not interrupt the cashier during my checkout. Unless there is a fire, a robbery or other danger in the store, please allow me to complete my conversation or transaction.

Please don’t tell us how tired you are or how you can’t wait until your shift is over or how much you hate your job. We may care that you are unhappy, but it stinks to hand over $150 for groceries while the cashier is kvetching on the job. And maybe if you noticed some of your more pleasant customers, your on‑the‑job attitude would improve.

Don’t carry on personal conversations with other employees during your interaction with customers. True, you don’t work at a Mercedes Benz dealership or a high‑end clothing store, but many families spend hundreds of dollars per week at your place of employ. And, actually, that really isn’t the point. Pride in your job is the point, and common decency toward your fellow humans. If you want kindness and respect, try giving it.

I’m not sure who makes these decisions, but managers, take note: Don’t allow solicitors inside or outside of the store. I know the Arizona Republic’s subscription rate is way down (otherwise they wouldn’t be stalking grocery store patrons to sign up), but we’re there to shop for groceries. Our time is precious. The majority of us do not wish to be hassled by a for‑profit business when we’re simply trying to feed our families for the night. I’ll give the nonprofits a pass, as aggressive as some of those Phoenix Boys Choir and Girl Scout members can be.

To the cashiers in particular: please look us in the eye when you speak to us. If you ask us how we are, we might assume you mean it and give you an accurate answer. This is something I made the mistake of doing once.

The conversation went something like this:

Cashier: How are you today?

Me: I’m just awful, I lost my wallet this morning and ...

Cashier: Great! Will that be paper or plastic?

It’s interactions such as these, the lack of eye contact, the hurried pace at which so many tasks are performed, the absence of a connection that causes me to wonder if I’m not better off removing the human element from the picture completely, and passing through the self‑checkout line.