Yes,
it was (and still is) a little ridiculous to watch grown men
and women running around in weird hair and head‑to‑toe
leather, and in “The Last Stand” the most distracting bit
of casting comes from Kelsey Grammar, who plays Dr. Henry
McCoy, or Beast. The presence is there, the voice is there,
the gravitas should be there. But then there’s Grammar with
blue face paint and wild fur sprouting all over his head,
stuffed into a business suit and trading quips with Hugh Jackman
like:
“Wolverine,
I hear you’re quite an animal.”
“Look
who’s talking.”
Grammar
is more believable providing the voice of Sideshow Bob on
“The Simpsons.” Then again, the basis is a Marvel Comic. Either
you’re going to go with the conceit or you’re not.
But
everyone involved with this film purports it to be the meatiest
and most relevant of the trilogy, with its premise that scientists
have developed a cure for mutancy, and all the social and
political implications that follow. Do the X‑Men give
up their powers and conform to be like everyone else? Or do
they keep them and maintain the qualities that made them unique,
albeit frequently, ostracized?
It’s
all very high concept, and would seem applicable to anyone
living on the fringe, but Ratner and screenwriters Zak Penn
(who co‑wrote part two) and Simon Kinberg (“Mr. &
Mrs. Smith”) merely skim the surface. Protestors stand outside
government buildings where these new shots are being administered,
holding signs and chanting, “We don’t need a cure!” Halle
Berry’s Storm, who can manipulate weather, says she doesn’t
want a cure. (And why should she? Her powers are among the
coolest of all.) Meanwhile, young Rogue (Anna Paquin), who’s
stuck with the fact that everyone she touches dies, thinks
it’s not such a bad idea.
And
that’s about as far as anyone gets in terms of digging into
the film’s inherent philosophical issues; “The Last Stand”
is the rare movie that actually could have run a bit longer,
if only to give moviegoers a chance to think.
Instead
we get giant battles between the good X‑Men and the
bad mutants, led by Ian McKellen’s metal‑moving Magneto
(still wearing that idiotic helmet, it’s so beneath him).
Besides Romijn’s shapeshifting Mystique and the flame‑shooting
Pyro (Aaron Stanford), he’s added to his arsenal a mutant
with spikes sticking out of his face, another who can sense
other mutants, and a third appropriately named Juggernaut
(soccer star Vinnie Jones, dressed in S&M gear) who simply
plows through everything in his path.
Is
your mind boggled yet? We haven’t even mentioned the new mutants
on the side of all that’s pure and right, including Angel
(Ben Foster), who has wings growing out of his back (hence
the name) and whose father is responsible for the dreaded
cure.
They’re
all superficial concepts, pawns populating the enormous computer‑generated
set pieces, the biggest of which features Magneto ripping
the packed Golden Gate Bridge from its moorings and manipulating
the span to make it extend to Alcatraz Island. (Somehow it’s
just not as much fun to watch people running for their lives
anymore, even under the guise of summer entertainment.)
The
most intriguing character of all, Famke Janssen’s Jean Grey,
has arisen after dying at the end of “X2" and she’s more
screwed up than ever–another plot that feels truncated. Perhaps
the most powerful mutant ever with her keen telekinesis and
telepathy, Jean also has a dark side–a facet to her personality
where she can’t control her abilities, and wreaks total havoc.
Part
Sissy Spacek in “Carrie,” part Linda Blair in “The Exorcist,”
Jean can now kill people just by staring at them; she can
cause an entire house to levitate and strip it bare. More
often than not, though, she just stands around with a blank
expression on her face, looking bored and a little lost.
Even
if you don’t have superpowers, you know how she feels.
