‘Say it ain’t so’

Baseball, the greatest of all American pastimes, being played by pumped‑up, steroid‑using, lying, cheating, record‑stealing, whiny, arrogant multi‑millionaires? Say it ain’t so.

When Barry Bonds tied The Babe’s home run record, Americans everywhere cheered and jeered.  I was just quietly sitting in the stands with a cold beer and a hot dog watching that spectacle unfold.

Some people say that perhaps the best of baseball has already been played. There was a time when players reminded us of ordinary guys, not beefed‑up hulks with arms like tree trunks. It was always great to see a fastball released from the arm of a slightly built pitcher, and fun to note that many outfielders had potbellies and didn’t look like athletes. It was a true thrill to see a hitter step up to the plate and, without a weight‑lifter’s upper body, hit one out of the park.   

Baseball is a team sport, true. But it always boiled down to a pitcher and a batter. Two men, one ball. Ninety‑plus miles an hour of heat hurling at the guy with a bat is what makes the game so fantastic. The physics of baseball is amazing. By the time the batter sees the ball in his line of sight, he’s already moving into the swing–or it’s too late. It takes practice, courage, strength, power, accuracy and...steroids? What’s the world coming to?

My favorite baseball movie is “Sandlot.” If you haven’t seen it, you’re missing out on one of the best, most uplifting movies about the game ever made. All right, so it appeals mostly to children, but it depicts the great love of the game that kids (and adults) everywhere have for this favorite of all sports. It shows the innocence of baseball, the joy of a spectacular catch a ball, the miracle of the home run and admiration for the “Babe” and all of the “Great Ones” who set the standard (and records) for future players to chase.

What’s wrong with expecting that athletes be free of performance‑enhancing drugs? And how could the players’ union mess around with strict testing policies? These are questions to be pondered by fans, players and (sadly) lawmakers. Should there be a two‑year ban from the sport if a player is found testing positive for steroids? According to many professional players, the answer is an emphatic “no.” The reasoning? Baseball is an “entertaining business,” unlike the Olympics, “where athletes are put on a pedestal of purity.” So there you have it. Baseball is entertainment. And I suppose drugs and entertainment go hand in hand.

Hey, we’ve all known that there is something “impure” about baseball. A bunch of guys chewing tobacco, spitting, grunting, crotch grabbing (oops, sorry Dear Readers), cussing and occasionally duking it out on the field has never given the impression of “purity.” But we can take all that. Just don’t tell me ballplayers are juiced up on “roids.”

If we can’t find the “real thing” in our baseball uniforms, we can always drink a beer, grill a hotdog and watch “Sandlot.” Now that’s a home run. In the meantime, is Barry Bonds our new national hero?  Please say it ain’t so!