Sometimes it pays to be young and foolish. 

As a young man I thought I knew something about love. I met a girl in high school and at the ripe old age of twenty, we thought we were ready for marriage.

It was 113 degrees on our wedding day. The guys wore brown velvet tuxedos; the girls, peach dresses. Miraculously, no one passed out.

My groomsmen decided to play a joke on me. They wrote “HELP” on the soles of my shoes so that when we kneeled for communion everyone would see. Fortunately, I caught wind of the scam and spent my last few moments of single life feverishly scrubbing my shoes clean.

As a pastor, it is my privilege to help many couples get married. I usually read the famous love text from Scripture (Corinthians 1:13) and suggest three thoughts to keep in mind as they begin their lives together.

I remind them, in the first place, that love involves giving. Selfless action is the key to a lasting relationship: “Love is patient, love is kind...” Love is an action word more than a feeling word.

When many people say “I love you,” they are actually saying, “I feel really good when I am with you,” and disregard the action in loving. Lasting love involves much more than that. It means saying, “I will do what is best for you no matter what it costs me.” True love gives.

The text also suggests, secondly, that love involves forgiving: “it keeps no record of wrongs.” The truth is this: Despite our best intentions, we don’t keep our promises as well as we should. What then? Throw in the towel? Not if we understand true love.

Instead, on the offending side we swallow our pride and say:  “Please forgive me.” And on the offended side, we expunge our bitterness and respond:  “I forgive you.” Lasting love is not for the faint of heart. True love forgives.

Finally, the text says that true love stays: “love never fails.” Some couples fear the marriage commitment is a ball and chain that limits their freedom. These couples don’t understand true love. True love embraces commitment; it doesn’t run from it. 

The marriage covenant is not a ball and chain; it is a safety net. Like the net beneath trapeze artists, it gives freedom to take the exhilarating and sometimes frightening risks of love. True love stays.

It was twenty‑six years ago this week that I, a young and foolish twenty‑year‑old promised my love to my high school sweetheart.  

I’ve never regretted it. I wish I could say I’m older and wiser, but I’m eternally grateful I was once young and foolish.

Steve Gilbertson is the pastor of Sanctuary, a church in the heart of Cave Creek. To read more of his writing, or to contact him directly, visit www.sanctuarytoday.com.