What
does a nose know? Evidently, our sense of smell is a key
factor in our overall mental state, physical well‑being,
and love life. And it is intricately linked to memories,
appetite, cognition and recognition. So when a group of
men in a research project were tested on what scents they
like on a woman, imagine the scientific breakthrough when
“grapefruit” was the number one choice. Not only do men
like the smell of citrus in general, and grapefruit in
specific, but they claim it “makes a woman seem younger.”
How much younger, you might wonder? Smell like a grapefruit
and take off six years!
How,
exactly, this research was conducted has not been disclosed,
but it sounds pretty “fruity” to me. I did check out the
local lotion stores and found that they carry a huge array
of citrus products. Evidently, the “fresh” smell of grapefruit
is a more “youthful, sexy, smell” than the old‑fashioned
vanilla or lilac. I’ve quizzed my husband, Doug, on these
matters, but he declines to comment on whether I appear
six years younger when I slather on the citrus lotion
I just purchased. Hmm, I may demand my money back.
On
to other “nose” matters, it seems that there is a huge
effort on the part of farmers in Nebraska to make hog
farms smell “pretty.” In order to achieve this new, pleasant
aroma–and perhaps settle a few lawsuits with neighbors–hog
farmers are experimenting with a chemical in the hogs’
feed. To ensure that the experiment is completely scientific,
the farmers are paying researchers 30 bucks an hour just
to hang out and whiff the pigs. I’m not making this up,
Dear Readers. Some serious‑minded science researcher
is getting paid big bucks to “objectively” smell the hogs.
I’ve heard of “stop and smell the roses;” but “stop and
smell the pigs?”
Did
you know that a town in Michigan has taken to handing
out little “scratch and smell” brochures (like those perfumed
pieces of paper given out in department stores) in order
to let potential buyers of rural property know there might
be some “different” smells out there in the country? Want
to know what it’s like living next to five horses? Here,
scratch and smell this! Thinking of buying a house next
to a neighbor who has steers? Try the “livestock whiffer.”
Imagine the endless possibilities in our own little communities.
The
brilliant idea to let people smell their surroundings
before they move there lessens the “big stink” that occurs
later. Evidently there are quite a few “smelly” lawsuits
around that focus on what kind of stench is coming over
the neighbor’s fence. Physicians have testified in many
cases that the quality of life can be “severely compromised”
by nasty smells.
While
most Americans like to wear cologne, it seems there are
many “perfume‑free” environments, which are usually
work places “protecting the smelling freedom of the average
person.” Huh? What exactly does this mean? I suppose grapefruits
are best eaten, not spritzed. But to stink or not to stink,
that might be the next big question. One person’s sweet
aroma, however, might be another person’s nasal nightmare.
There’s
a personnel manager in a small town in Texas who has required
that all employees “be clean, smell nice and be free of
offensive body odors.” When asked to clarify “offensive,”
he would only say that he’d know it when he smelled it.
A few employees have cried “foul” about this rule. Who
can blame them?
When
it comes to smell, there’s just no common scents. From
citrus to hogs, I guess it all depends on personal preference–and
which way the wind is blowing. No one really knows what
a nose knows, but it sounds like we’d better wake up and
smell the coffee
... and hope for the best.
