Let’s just say it wasn’t a good day. The beautiful monsoon storm that dumped one‑and‑a‑half inches of rain in Cave Creek? I loved it, but my septic tank certainly did not. It will cost me several thousand dollars to have it fixed.

Ouch! I feel like suing somebody. I am really angry to be put in this situation after less than a year in my brand new home.

In times like these, my Christian faith is decidedly inconvenient. I rather wish I had no conscience. I want to lash out, to make threats, to rant and rave.

I see people do it all the time and it doesn’t seem to bother them. Why should I be any different? That little voice inside my head, the one that says, “Be careful, Steve. You don’t want to go there.” You know that voice, don’t you? It drives me crazy. I wish it would just go away.

But it doesn’t. So I fork out money I do not have to pay for problems I did not create. And it makes me mad.

Does that ever happen to you? I suppose it does. In times like these, I derive a lot of help from the rants I read in Scripture.

Yes, believe it or not, there are a lot of them in there. (Which, by the way, is one of the things I love about the Bible: it’s not sanitized; there is a lot of raw, ahem, sewage.)

Take Job, for example.

He continually says, “God, this isn’t fair! A lot of good it did me to try to live the right way. You’re not doing right by me!”

I understand where he’s coming from. Sometimes it seems like the world is stacked against us. In order to get ahead you have to bend the rules, violate your conscience, step on a few toes. I know this is a gross generalization, but still ...

So I wonder about the alternative. What would it be like to push, to shove, to make sure that I get what’s coming to me? Would I feel better? Would my self respect improve? Would I be a happier person if someone else paid for my septic damage?

If I violate my conscience to get what I think I deserve, what will be the result? My wallet may be thicker, but will my relationships be poorer? Is it worth it?

Asaph was a guy who shared some of my struggles in this area. He was a worship leader like me, and wrote several songs that found their way into Holy Scripture. In the 73rd Psalm he is frustrated by the prosperity of those who ignore God compared to the poverty of those who follow God. He wrote, “Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure; in vain have  washed my hands in innocence.”

After all, what good is it to follow God if it doesn’t get you ahead in the world?

Only later, once he had time to put things into proper perspective, did Asaph abandon his resentful attitude. He said, “Earth has nothing I desire besides you.”

What did he mean by this?

He realized that his greatest hopes were not found on earth anyway. He understood that “getting ahead” wasn’t really as important to him as he first imagined–especially if it meant compromising his relationship with God.

Or, as I’m beginning to discover, saving a few thousand dollars at the expense of my integrity isn’t worth it.