Q: Why is God’s love conditional? He gives His life for us, and then demands that we do things His way, or go to hell. That sounds selfish. I am grateful for what God has done for us, but we shouldn’t be made to fear going to hell.

A: You sound like someone struggling with the meaning of all this life, while God keeps running after you. I want to start by saying that if God’s love was conditional, He would have given up on you and me a long time ago.

There must be one or two people in your life telling you about Jesus. They’ll never quit because His love for you through them will never quit. Even if you choose hell instead of Him, he will always love you. Your rejection of Him will break His heart, but He will love you. His love is absolutely unconditional, but it’s our choice to receive or reject it. He warns us, but will honor our choices.

Have you ever suffered consequences due to wrong choices? Those choices are usually made due to misinformation, assumptions or all out rebellion. Hell is an unnecessary consequence any way you look at it. The Bible declares that God the Father loves you as much as He loves His Son, Jesus. (See John 17:23.) However our earthly fathers have failed has no bearing on God’s heart for you. He desires to adopt you, fill you with His Holy Spirit, and show you what a relationship with Him is all about.

About this driving issue: God leads people. Robots are driven. He’s trying to lead you to a place in your life where you will finally raise the white flag and quit fighting His love.

As you pointed out, you don’t have to be afraid of hell, but I believe everyone is once they see it. I also believe when you come to Jesus, your doubts and concerns which are so important to you now, are going to melt away like butter as His Holy Spirit fills your heart and opens your eyes.

Your question revealed a concern about the things we do for God’s love. Life in Christ is not about us and what we’re doing. It’s all about Him and what He is doing through us. It’s difficult for you to grasp because you’ve never welcomed the fullness of His love and grace. The closest anyone comes to anything like that without Christ, is perhaps the love of their mom.

If you were drowning and a lifeguard threw you a lifesaver, would you argue about the principles of floatation, or would you reach out and take the gift? Who’s your lifeguard?

Romans 6:23