Straighten
up and fly right
Have
you ever heard
of the saying,
“bottle to the
throttle?” Does
the phrase “drunk
astronauts,” make
you a little nervous?
Hey, it seems
that more than
a few astronauts
have been flying
high before they
ever left the
launch pad. What
the heck is happening
here? NASA is
going to have
to come up with
some pretty good
explanations to
help us ordinary
folk grasp how
the space program
is supposed to
work.
One
senator said that
the independent
review of these
“disgusting binges”
has shaken the
whole space program.
Then, he added,
that it didn’t
sound like drunk
astronauts had
the “right stuff.”
No kidding. I’m
no rocket scientist,
but aren’t there
are a few safety
items to consider?
I mean, imagine
what would happen
if one of the
astronauts decided
to unbuckle his
seatbelt? Or maybe
send the whole
shuttle crashing
back down to earth?
People
around the world
have been poking
fun at NASA, making
jokes at our expense.
“American space
cadets have really
been spaced out,”
was one headline
in California
and a London paper
screamed “Drunks
in Outer Space.”
One
of the late‑night
television hosts
quipped, “NASA
has sponsored
the Lindsay Lohan
Astronaut Program
for Young Girls.”
Another
magazine headline
said, “The few,
the brave and
the drunk.” Yikes,
we look like a
bunch of fools.
Some
people wonder
who exactly is
watching the store?
If you notice
an astronauts
suited up, getting
ready to board
a spacecraft,
isn’t there anyone
around to stand
up and speak out?
Like, “Gee, I
noticed you are
rip‑roaring
drunk and perhaps
now is not a good
time to take off.”
In
defense of these
actions, one unidentified
high ranking NASA
official claims
that “no danger
was ever present”
just because of
few inebriated
astronauts. He
went on to say
that it can’t
be compared to
“drinking and
driving.” Again,
the ordinary folks
(taxpayers) need
a little help
trying to figure
out why there’s
no difference.
Actually,
I still want to
believe that it’s
all a big lie
and after further
review, we’ll
find out that
the whole story
was a hoax–some
nut just trying
to scare us into
believing that
there is a big
problem that doesn’t
really exist.
Until then, we’ll
just have to wait
and see before
jumping to conclusions.
Have
you ever dreamed
about boarding
a rocket and orbiting
the Earth? For
a few hundred
thousand bucks
you can do it–and
since you are
the passenger,
you could be as
drunk as a skunk.
