Invasion
of the grasshopper
Yikes!
Could it be true–
grasshoppers by
the thousands
invading a certain
gas station in
the North Valley?
I didn’t really
believe it until
I saw them for
myself. Great
Jiminy Crickets
... or, ah, grasshoppers!
Dear
Readers, what
I observed was
so strange, so
frightening, that
it could be right
out of an Alfred
Hitchcock movie.
I
don’t want to
alarm anyone,
but something
weird is happening
when you drive
into a gas station
and see a carpet
of grasshoppers
on the ground
and forming a
black cloud around
the lights. I
witnessed one
poor woman pumping
gas while literally
flicking them
out of her hair.
She had to jump
into her vehicle
for shelter, which
soon became covered
with the little
beasts. I also
saw people swatting
the creepy insects
with their newspapers
(finally a purpose
for this column)
as they exited
the convenience
store. You could
hear crunching
sounds as people
stepped on them.
Just what was
going on?
I
contacted some
“grasshopper experts”
who assured me
that there is
no chance our
beautiful Desert
Foothills area
will experience
anything like
a devastating
locust infestation.
“It’s
simply a bunch
of grasshoppers
that were disturbed
in their natural
habitat and are
moving in a group
to someplace else,”
is what one expert
e‑mailed
me. Quite a few
highly educated
“Acrididae specialists”
voiced this general
opinion.
What
good news. I was
pretty worried
and had a few
sleepless nights.
After all, locusts
(another name
for grasshoppers
that move in large
groups) are destroying
30 square miles
a day in the country
of Kazakhstan
and heading into
Russia. China
is also in a battle
with locusts and
has lost millions
of acres of crops.
In response, China’s
government has
released more
than five million
wasps to try and
stop the invaders.
So,
sleep well. No
marauding hordes
(at least of a
non‑human
variety) are coming
to our little
corner of the
world. The particular
gas station that
has had the onslaught
of grasshopper
activity is adjacent
to an area under
construction,
and the grasshoppers
have congregated
at the station
on their way to
another location
where they can
display a more
“normal” behavior
pattern. Grasshoppers
are sweet and
kind. Locusts
are grasshoppers
that have joined
a ruthless gang
bent on destroying
everything in
their path.
There’s
a whole lot of
knee knocking,
leg clanging and
body slamming
going on when
you get a few
thousand grasshoppers
together, and
they make quite
a racket. (My
grandson Sean
said it’s like
one huge mosh
pit at a rock
concert.) The
grasshopper situation
seems to be settling
down, though.
The little devils
only live for
a brief time.
I do believe they
are leaving the
gas station for
greener pastures.
I’m just glad
we don’t have
any cornfields
around here. (I’ve
been assured that
grasshoppers aren’t
interested in
cactus.)
On
a cheerier note,
isn’t there an
alcoholic drink
called the Grasshopper?
If it’s any good
and you have the
recipe, drop me
a line.
