Measures  of success

How successful are you? That question seems to pop up in various stages throughout our lives. Too often, it is material things that we use as standard measures of success, overlooking the less obvious benchmarks. It takes a certain type of inner strength to feel really successful if your business isn’t doing so great,   but perhaps that’s the time we have to dig a little deeper.

 My favorite quote is by Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, “Success is to laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.”

Maybe as a society, we’ve been forgetting about the “real deal” when it comes to success. I know I need to work on laughing more. (I just have to start reading or watching the news.) A psychologist who specializes in laughter claims that people are under the wrong impression that something has to be funny in order to laugh. Not true! Just start laughing  and suddenly your world is  transformed into a friendlier, happier place.

I think quite a few among us could work on the “find the best in others” quality, which seems to be a common denominator in successful people. We’ve all met unpleasant, miserable, negative folks and none of them seem to attain our respect, appreciation or affection. I recall working as a nurse and my supervisor proudly claiming that she had been a nurse for thirty years. When  congratulated about this endurance record, she would always reply, “Yes, I love nursing; I just can’t stand people.” Ouch ... not exactly the attitude we wish to emulate.

Someone told me (I think my banker) bank accounts don’t always buy that much when it comes to happiness and character. My father used to say that it’s not only what people do in public, but how they live in private that is the true reflection of success. Maybe the material things we seek in life are simply rewards for a life well lived. I’d like to think that, yet, something tells me that people seek out  “trophies” more than they’d like to admit.

Some philosophers claim that success is fleeting. Our society has become disposable to the point that “stuff” needs to be continually upgraded and replaced. Our parents kept their furniture and when it got worn, they had it reupholstered. My mother has a 48‑year‑old freezer (it still works fine) in her basement. She never thinks about  getting “new” because she sees nothing wrong with her “old.” We younger folks seem to keep searching for “newer and better” and can’t seem to understand why we’d want some “old” thing hanging around the house for years (unless it’s our spouse).

If success can’t quite be found on the “inside,” there are plenty of toys, trinkets and things to  collect, wear, show‑off and drive that help us look (and feel) successful. I go back to Emerson’s famous words and will consider his message more carefully, look more fondly at my old sofas, and remember to hold dear the affection of children. Until next week ... seek out the beauty that is all around us ... and if you can’t find it, don’t forget to laugh.