Is age just a number?

Don’t you love birthdays? I recently had another one, and my mother, aunt and daughter are having their birthdays in the next two weeks. One of my grandsons sent me a text message that included a picture of a birthday cake. Yes, right there on my cell phone was a cake with candles.  It made me feel happy, but old (I’m just learning how to text message), which brings me to the next question: Is age really just a number?

My mother is 85 years young and claims that she feels like she’s 60. Physicians say that 50 is the new 30 and that 60 is the new 40. Never before has the aging population been so healthy, active, strong and young‑looking. Come to think of it, when I was a child, my grandparents, who were in their 60s, looked pretty elderly. My grandmother wore thick nylons, long dresses, black, sturdy shoes and had her hair in a bun. My grandfather walked with a cane and looked like an old man by the time he was 55. This is not a snapshot of your average baby boomer.

It does pose a dilemma if you are buying a birthday gift for a 60‑year‑old who is the new 40. A tie, watch, scarf or rocking chair wouldn’t be appropriate. How about a leather jacket for riding the Harley, or hiking boots to climb that mountain? I’ve been telling my husband, Doug, that I might get his AARP card embossed in gold for his next birthday, in that I feel sorry for him because he’s getting older, while I’m getting younger. Okay, so he doesn’t seem amused. Sometimes age (or that number) can make people a little touchy.

But birthdays are for celebrating. It’s just how to do it that leaves me puzzled.

In a village in Africa, people cut a mark on a tree for every year of life. There is another tribe that tattoos a small dot on their neck for each birthday. We Americans don’t want to advertise our age, and are running to plastic surgeons to reverse the “ravages” of growing old. We wouldn’t want a bunch of dots on our necks so others could count them. And plastic surgery is no longer limited to the very wealthy or celebrities. Even the common man and woman can enjoy the benefits of a nip and tuck. Although age is experienced differently in various cultures, one thing seems to be universal: birthdays are special and usually good reason to celebrate.

My grandson waits with great anticipation for his 15th birthday (time for a driving permit). Teenagers everywhere count the days until they hit 16–the blessed (and dreaded) day of driving. Young people actually hold their breath until they turn 18, believing that being “legal” will transform them. Birthdays get tricky from then on, however. My niece is 39 and fears turning 40 because she knows her “life will be almost over,” even though other people have happily said that life begins at 50. My mother says she never thinks about her age.

We know a couple who, at age 80, moved to the country, cleared the land, built a house, put in extensive horse amenities and “retired” by training cutting horses. My father died suddenly on his birthday, at age 79. He was getting ready for his radio show and planned on going dancing later with my mother. His motto was: live life to the fullest. Now that’s a way to celebrate.

So Happy Birthday to each of us for the entire year! Happy Birthday to my mother, who is the new 60, my husband who is the new 40, to my niece who will be the real 40, and to my grandson Kevin who can’t wait to be 15. Many Happy Returns to all those who will have their first birthday, and to folks who live life like it could be their last.  If age is just a number, then the party never has to end.