JUDY BLUHM

Pumpkin party

Do you have what it takes to grow a 1500‑pound pumpkin? I didn’t think so.

Some farmer in Oregon takes the cake (or pie) for “spending a year of love, coaxing and energy” so he could grow the world’s largest pumpkin. First place in this distinguished contest also gives him a check for about 10,000 bucks, which has me thinking I might try and grow one of those monsters for next year. The question is: How would you go about such an enormous undertaking?

Perhaps the real question that needs answering is: Could a pumpkin get that large without being pumped up on steroids? Hey, I hate to be cynical, but when one pumpkin is able to make 6,000 pies, you have to wonder. And do pumpkin contests have the same rigorous testing as athletes? Oops, guess I answered my own question. When Olympic champions are confessing to juicing up and are forced to give back medals, how could we ever really know what lurks in the veins of that plumped‑up pumpkin?

But I do love to see all those pumpkins (of normal sizes) being proudly displayed around yards and porches this time of year. It is the gentle reminder that Halloween is around the corner, cooler breezes are in the air and sweater‑weather is around the corner. It’s also time to get out my famous pumpkin cookie recipes–which, if we each ate just one a day, we’d be sure to weigh about as much as the world’s largest pumpkin.

I have one delicious recipe that has 600 evil calories per cookie! Yes, Dear Readers, one bite of my pumpkin dough cookie, with its pound of brown sugar, butter, pureed pumpkin and maple syrup, is enough to send glucose levels to dangerous highs and arteries to immediate clog. They are completely scrumptious, dangerously fattening and should only be eaten at your own risk. Stop by and I’ll give you a few.

Oh, did I mention that javelinas love pumpkins? Last year I had several placed around the outside of my house in a very festive manner. One day I drove home in the late afternoon to find a family of those desert pigs devouring my pumpkins. When I screamed at them to go away, they just snorted at me with their (bright orange) snouts, covered with the remains of my harvest display. Reluctantly, they wandered off and left me to clean up their mess.

My 6‑year‑old grandson, Brandon, is really big on decorating for Halloween. I gave him some pumpkins, but I’ve noticed he is more interested in scary objects, like ghosts, witches and skeletons. He went to a farm with his class at school and proudly brought home a pumpkin, which he wants to “cut up” so it looks like a monster. I’ve always preferred happy‑faced pumpkins, but maybe one with a frown will keep unwanted critters away.

I read that a woman in rural Kentucky had baked a pumpkin pie and set it on her kitchen countertop. She then went outside to pick a few flowers,  leaving her outside door open. When she went back into the house, a hungry black bear was standing in her kitchen! The terrified (and clever) woman quickly tossed the pie to the bear, which he immediately tasted. Happily, the big beast loved the pie and ran out the door. The lucky lady now claims her delicious pumpkin pie saved her life.

Pumpkins represent all things autumn and, for some, may even be a “life‑saver.” Take a walk on the wild side and make a pie or bake some cookies, but watch out for javelina and definitely feed a bear. Harvest is coming.