Do men listen to women?

Evidently, researchers at the Indiana University Medical School have answered the question that has been raised by millions of women over the ages. Men “half listen,” because they only use half of their brain (the left side) when receiving information. Ha! Finally an explanation as to why my husband, Doug, seems only half‑interested in what I say.

Science has proven what many women already know–men are not good listeners.

A few days ago, I was at the park in Anthem with my five‑year‑old grandson, Brandon. In a futile attempt to get his attention so we could go home, I called his name a bunch of times. A young mother in her twenties looked at me and said, “He can’t hear a thing you’re saying. By the time a boy is four or five, he has already learned how to tune out all women’s voices.”

She went on to tell me that she saw on the television show “Dateline” that the male species is “tone‑deaf” when it comes to the pitch of a female’s voice. I wondered if this was true while chasing Brandon down to go home.

There’s been a lot of buzz in England lately about a recent book that says men can’t listen and women can’t read maps.

It goes on to say that men don’t ask for directions because they usually don’t need to. A map shop in London offered free maps of the city and 15,000 requests from women flooded the shop in five days. Only a dozen requests were from men.

Researchers also pointed out that reading a map is a “man skill” and listening to directions is only something a “woman would ever seriously consider.”  More controversial research reveals that “British men (like most men around the world) don’t like it and don’t pay attention when their wives talk on and on about mundane things.”

The Indiana University Medical School study also states out that it is “easy” for men to watch a sports show (like football) on television all day and find it perfectly enjoyable. Most women, using both sides of the brain to interpret messages, cannot stand the “drone” of announcers giving play‑by‑play commentary for hours at a time. The study raises the question as to the “conversation compatibility” of men and women. The females like the details surrounding the topic, while the guys just seem more interested in the facts.

Women have also been known to take their time getting to the point of the conversation, while men are more inclined to get to the punch line right away. Doug and I have been married over 25 years, and he has the habit of saying, “What’s your point?” when I’m in the middle of some delicious details.

Lately, I have been conducting my own listening research in our house and my conclusions, while not deemed scientific, are profound. Yes, Dear Readers, it seems to be true: men and women communicate differently. (Or, in other words, men don’t listen very well). I have four grandsons and after evaluating our conversations, I have pretty much reached the same conclusion. These boys listen when it is a topic of interest. When they talk, they spare all the details.

“Tell me about school,” brings one word replies, no opinions, stories or discussions. Ask the girls the same questions and we may find out what the teacher was wearing that day, what was served for lunch, who acted up in recess, and what topics were explored in class.

I suppose we didn’t need a bunch of doctors publishing papers to tell us what most of us already suspected.

Men and women are wired differently and possess very different communication talents. Do men listen? Well, of course they do. Sadly, ladies, it just might not be to us.