Wrestling with Santa                           

I have been wrestling with Santa and it doesn’t make a pretty picture. ‘Tis the season to be singing carols and spreading joy, but sometimes decorating can turn into a less than cheery ritual.

My daughter Tammy has a life‑size Santa that sings and dances. Sadly, he was stuck and his legs wouldn’t pull out. So in tug‑of‑war fashion, my grandson and I grabbed on and yanked at both ends. When that didn’t work, I had to take Santa by the neck and shake him.

Dear Readers, many a child in Anthem was terrified by what they saw.

Oh heck, the holidays are for decorating. Break out the boxes, start stringing lights, hang the wreaths, and be prepared to rumble with Santa. But please be careful, since evidently lots of folks fall off of ladders this time of year. Better yet, don’t get on a ladder unless someone is rightthere with you. Juggling angels on treetops while balancing precariously on a ladder is one way to get to heaven fast. Try to avoid danger, ladders and electrical mishaps.

My husband, Doug, got one of those huge, inflatable five‑foot‑tall balls for our youngest grandson’s front yard. Now every night, Santa is standing inside the bubble, with snow falling around him in a spectacular display. Brandon, our five‑year‑old grandson, is autistic and cannot stop looking at the spectacle that stands right outside his kitchen window. He wants to run out and kiss it every few minutes (not a good idea), stare at it constantly (also not practical), and wants snow to fall on his house in Anthem (definitely not likely). Yikes, what have we done?

The holidays bring out the decorators in many of us as we try to make our abodes more festive. It can also push a few folks over the edge. Perhaps I was one of them when I was sitting on the ground unraveling a string of candy cane lights that were as tangled as a bunch of noodles on a platter. It took more than an hour just to get the dang lights in a straight line, and then it took my patient husband another hour to stick them into the ground. Brandon was running back and forth the whole time, too excited for words. At least someone was having fun.

A few people will go completely overboard this season, lighting up their homes and yards like a spaceship has landed in the desert, illuminating everything and annoying everyone around them. How many times can you hear “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” without going bonkers? Hey, isn’t this the time of year we’re supposed to be thoughtful of our neighbors? You know, no loud music blaring and bright lights keeping others awake at night.

A colleague of mine claimed that she was so stressed out last year with decorating, that she took an ax to her live tree when it wouldn’t stand up straight in the tree stand. Evidently her children watched with horror as mom “cut the lousy tree into tiny, little pieces” right in her living room. Of course, these kids will be in need of psychotherapy later on in life, but at the time they all shrugged it off as a “bad choice of trees.”

That’s what artificial trees are for. They are balanced (unlike my friend), and require no ax. We all need to take it easy, keep it simple, decorate with care and try to remember why we are going to all this trouble in the first place. It’s the greatest season of the year. Time to spike the eggnog and get on a ladder. Oops, I meant to say spike the eggnog and watch a husband get on the ladder, keep the axes locked up, and find strength to untangle that long string of lights. Joy is in the decorating ... and may it light up your world.